it’s physically impossible to fit words into a venn diagram
(via pizza)
one time when i was 13 i was peeing in a shopping centre toilets and the chick before must’ve had explosive diahorrea or something because she had shat up the place and it stunk like holy hell. anyway so i step out and as another lady walks in, i go “careful, the woman before took a huge dump and it smells nasty” and she goes
“i was in there before yOU, I LEFT MY JACKET ON THE BACK OF THE DOOR”
(via nahthatsnotveryraven)
Fun fact:
Me and the Tumblr user Pizza used to date. We were always together and such. I hate to say it now but I was always on top.
Oh hey babe! Haven’t talked to you in ages xx
ahh shit well this is awkward
(via nahthatsnotveryraven)
[slams my face against ur window] do yOU WANNA TALK ABOUT PATRICK STUmP
(via solarflarestare)
This is the most accurate depiction of my love life ever.
(Source: jcap, via tonysaturtle)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
please allow 5-7 business days before i hand in my homework that was due last monday
(via pizza)
I’m going to start quoting fall out boy whenever someone starts talking
(via dean-ilostmyshoe)
excuse me what did u say i cant hear u i have an ear disease called i dont fucking care
(via awakemefrommynightmaree)
toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”
fries
do you ever look back at your mistakes
