see that girl you just called a bitch? she didn’t hear you say it louder
On my tombstone please write “Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”
When my brother’s xbox broke i tried to get him a new system but he said not to.
he was unconsolable
mom: where the hell is all the halloween candy i bought? did you eat it all?
*hears first notes to Sugar We’re Going Down*
*punches out of casket*
am i morE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET
IM A TEENAGER I WANNA BE DANGEROUS I WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY I WANNA GO STEAL A TRAFFIC LIGHT
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT TRAFFIC LIGHTS WERE A LOT SMALLER
YOU THINK THAT’S BIG?? CHECK OUT THIS STOP SIGN I JUST GRABBED
STOP STEALING ROAD NAVIGATIONAL ESSENTIALS.